Is this what we’ve become?  After everything we went through as friends, its come to this?  Petty insults and name calling and trash-talking me behind my back?  Really?  Because I thought you guys were better than that.  You guys were my closest friends.  I trusted you with everything.  Showed you sides of me that I hide from nearly all others.  Welcomed you into my life with open arms, and an open heart.  I truly cared about each of you.  And I admit, I’ve made plenty of mistakes the past few months, most of which I wish I could forget as a result of shame.  But even then, I still tried to do right by you guys.  Still tried to preserve our friendships, and do the best I possibly could at making everyone else happy, at the cost of my own happiness. It just really saddens me, that after so long of being such good friends, you guys are so quick to crucify me.  

For three years you and I were friends.  Very good friends.  I considered you like a sister, like part of my family.  I treated you like a princess for three years.  I did everything for you.  I went the extra mile to always try to make you happy.  I was always the one there to cheer you up when you were sad.  I was the one that helped make your days at work more bearable.  I was the one that always consoled you when James was treating you badly again.  I bought you things to make you smile, and gave you very heartfelt and personalized gifts.  I did so much more for you than I think you’ve even realized.  And yeah, I missed your birthday, and I told you the truth about how I felt about you.  Do you really think those are worthy reasons to treat me like this?  I defended your honor, against my own girlfriend, and I get this for it?  Insults and trash-talk?  You know, all of this could have been avoided.  If you recall, you were the one who blatantly stated to the world “Nate should dump his girlfriend.”  It doesn’t matter whether or not you thought you were right, its still a really messed up thing to do.  I never treated you or James that way.  I hated James.  He treated you horribly, insulted you, dumped you, cheated on you, lied to you, flirted with tons of other girls, and is a completely selfish and self-centered moron.  Did I ever give you crap for dating him?  Did I ever tell James that you should’ve dumped him?  No.  Because its not the right thing to do.  Its messed up. Instead, I supported you.  You insult my relationship, when yours was much much worse on some levels.  You were completely obsessed with someone who was using you.  For two years.  After he had neglected you, left you for other people, lied to you constantly. And you feel in the right to insult my relationship?  You feel you can be holier than thou and decide what’s a worthy relationship and what isn’t?  I can’t believe you’re honestly acting this way, and being this mean, after all we’ve been through.  It sickens me.  I think you need to take a step back, and look long and hard at the way you treat people, before you start judging and condemning me.  

And you, you keep saying how I’m the one ruining the friendship, I’m the one leaving, I’m the one who doesn’t care about you.  Ever since we became friends, I’ve cared about you.  I talked to you, and hung out with you, and had fun with you because I wanted to, not because I had to.  I loved having you around.  You were someone who gave straight answers, and good advice.  That’s why I burdened you with all my drama, because I felt you could give me the best, most logical, and simple solution to my problems.  And I was there for you when you needed it.  I listened to your problems, tried to help you, gave you hugs when you were crying at work.  I tried to make things better for you.  Tried as best I could to make you happy, to make you smile.  You’re the one that always doubted if I cared, deleted me, blocked me, shut me out, got mad at me for being stubborn, and ultimately, it was you who ended our friendship.  I wanted to keep it, to stay friends, because I care about you.  And then you go and insult me, insult my relationship, and flaunt pictures of you and James, saying how yours is a “real” and “perfect” love.  Oh really?  If your guy’s love is so perfect, then why were you so upset with him for so long?  Why did you complain about him all the time?  If it is so real and perfect, why were you inches away from leaving James for someone you had just started being friends with, and had only just found out he kinda liked you?  If you guys had such a strong love, how come you were so ready and prepared to jump ship?  How can you really say yours is so true and perfect compared to my relationship, given that?  

You guys act like you’re complete angels, that have done nothing wrong.  Sure, I’ve done some stupid stuff to make you guys angry, and I admit that.  But let’s not forget, it was you guys who started this whole feud.  You guys threw the first stone.  You guys insulted her.  It doesn’t matter what your opinion was, its never right to blatantly insult someone like that.  It was mean.  And you guys continue to be mean, even after we’ve left you alone.  You guys are acting like middle-schoolers, all angry and bitter and bent on revenge.  What’s the deal?  You guys used to be mature.  You used to care about people, and their feelings.  You used to be respectful, and admirable, and people of integrity.  Now look at this petty battle you guys have propagated.  Are we really having a tumblr war right now?  Do you not see how stupid this is?  How pointless?  I feel ashamed, and very disappointed. You guys wanted me gone, you wanted me out of your lives.  I agreed to your desires, and said my goodbyes, despite my own misgivings about it.  I respected your decisions, because i wanted to do what would make you guys happy.  If you want me gone, then just let me be gone.  Give it up, let this die, and move on with your lives.  Because seriously, this grudge you guys seem to be holding is really not worth the effort.  I hope you can see that…

Still makes you a liar. Still doesn’t change the fact that you ruined our friendship when you decided you couldn’t just be my friend. Still doesn’t change the fact that you hurt me, Kati, and Dianna because Stacie really is a cussing bitch. Doesn’t change the fact that despite knowing you for years, you still chose someone who treated you like shit but gave you sex… over us. And even still, you could have treated us better if you were really gonna stay with her this long. You know I wouldn’t have even minded if you told me to break up with James. You think I didn’t get that from everyone else? You could have just joined the club. Whether or not you hated James because he was hurting me, or because you were “in love” with me, or both. Friends need to be honest with each other. Not keep secrets. And even though I probably can’t say I went as far as to treat you like a prince, I feel like I treated you pretty well. You know why? Cause you were my friend. My brother. I tried to make you smile and laugh just as much. Tried to make work more tolerable too. We could have been friends forever. But what happened Nate? You realized your feelings for me would never be returned, so you had to start dating some psycho cuss to tear us apart? That’s fine I guess. If that’s what you really needed to do to get over it, then by all means. I still want you to have a happy life. But you can’t lie to people. To her. The girl you love. That’s what we’re trying to get you to do. You’re going to stay with her anyways right? No matter what? So why not get it over with and out of the way. It’ll make your relationship that much stronger. With everything out in the open, you can finally think with a clear head. But whatever. I have nothing left to say… I’m just rambling now.